Infant Loss

Infant Loss

Andi was my second pregnancy and different from my first one. I knew I was pregnant the day I missed my period even if multiple tests told me different. Until I had one test that showed a very faint two pink lines, I went to the doctor that day and they confirmed what I had already known.

I was so sick for 13 weeks, things grossed me out completely and while having a one year old at home, I was EXHAUSTED! Since the pregnancies were both so different I swore this time we would be having a boy, but that was wrong when two nurses told us “It’s a girl”. Andi was born at 39 weeks via c section (my choice), she was 8.4lbs and 21 inches long, completely different from Emma (her sister). Andi was 2 ounces bigger but so very petite, she was like a little doll.

July 24th, 2014 is a date I will never forget- it’s the day our lives changed. Andi woke up that morning and was “twitching” and her eyes would flicker, which lasted a few minutes. I knew something wasn’t right. I had literally just started the job of my dreams; my aunt took Andi to the pediatrician to see what they thought it was. Her pediatrician said it looked like a seizure but it was hard to tell, we weren’t able to get an appointment with a neurologist for A MONTH! Talk about crazy stupid.

We had Andi admitted to the NICU at one of the hospitals here where she stayed for two days. Because her episodes were only happening when she was falling asleep or waking up they characterized it as a sleep disorder and we were sent home. Her episodes were getting stronger and more frequent until one morning she had about twenty, 2/3 minute episodes in a two hour span. Enough was enough and we brought her to Children’s Hospital where she was until she passed away.

Andi spent 6 weeks fighting for her life. The doctors confirmed that her episodes were in fact seizures and now was going to be the time to figure out how to stop them. Andi had a team of roughly 6/7 doctors and nurses who were trying everything to stop the seizures. They tried an induced coma, the highest amount of medicines she could possibly have, everything and anything until our last resort was brain surgery to have the area taken out that was causing all the seizures. The surgery was a success, the seizures had stopped, but what the CT would show next was life changing. Andi had suffered lack of oxygen to her brain which in turned caused a stroke. She would never talk, walk, eat, or smile. Her doctors told us the baby we brought in would never be that person again.

Andi passed away September 7th 2014 around 3 am. After an autopsy and genetic testing was complete it was shown that Andi had Tuberous Sclerosis, a rare genetic disorder.

Since her passing which will be a year in just a few months, we have kept her memory with us. We talk about her as much as one can handle. Emma remembers her like there is no tomorrow. She looks at pictures constantly and loves to watch the one video I have of her making noises. Nothing will ever fill the hole that is in my heart from not having Andi with us, but like a good friend told me, “Lauren, you were able to meet your guardian angel, not many people can say that”.

Death Dying